Monday, June 30, 2008

a new blogger friend to add!

OK blogger friends! We need to unite and offer some positive reinforcement! I just talked my sister into starting her own blog page! I want her as addicted as the rest of us, SOOOOO please visit her site and encourage!!!!! Plus, it's a shameless plug for pics of the gorgeous niece.http://tishmblog.blogspot.com/

Her site is called "mooremadness"

OK! Happy blogging!
Heidi

Thursday, June 26, 2008

anybody part 2, Where's the loyalty??

So, this morning I am awakened by a call at 10:05am. Yes, I was asleep! It has something to do with waking up all night long for my excursions to the potty! "Heidi, Where are you???? You've missed your appointment with Patty!!!" Patty is the long standing hair dresser. I have NEVER missed an appointment, mainly because there is ALWAYS a "Friendly reminder" call the day before. I even have gone as far as to say to them, "You gotta call me! Pregnancy makes me forgetful!"

So the "charming" desk worker sighs and says, "Well, can you get in here as soon as possible, maybe sometime this afternoon?" Groggily I say, "uh..well no actually, I live in Grafton and by the time I'm up and about, I won't make it." A large grunting sigh on the other end of the phone.....to which I reply, "So, Why didn't you call me with the reminder call??? You always do that! I'm sorry I missed, but I didn't get the call!"

Her response, "WELL, That's just a customer courtesy we provide and it should not be expected!" My response, "After 5 years of "courtesy" calls.....they've become expected. I'm like 9 months pregnant and very forgetful. I really do rely on your calls!"

Her response, "Are you going to reschedule or not?" I reply, "When is the next available appointment?" " July 9th at 10:00am." "FINE" "FINE" click.....buzzzzzzzzzzz

Did she not hear me say that I was almost 9 months pregnant???? Am I going to be any less pregnant on JULY 9th?????? Yeah, Sure I"m going to make THAT ONE!

Hypothesis: Time to get a new salon.

Anybody want to trade places?

My day yesterday:

1. Woke up and took a shower. After 3 shaving cuts, I decided shaving my legs wasn't such a necessity, since I can't even see them most of the time anyways. Put bandaids on the cuts.
2. Medicated my cantacorous cat. Fed the little she-devil too!
3. Ate a bowl of cereal with what was left of the milk.
4. Did laundry (mostly hubby's) What can I wear these days except a nightgown?
5. Did dishes (hubby's turn)....Who'da thought that bending to the second shelf of the dishwasher would be so difficult and painful???
6. Ate tomato soup for lunch. (I needed vegetables....we have no vegetables in the house....ahhh alas, tomato soup)
7. Nothing to drink in the house except beer and water. Over that..."I'll guess I'll make some decaf iced tea!!!"
8. Boil the water on our new stove with the supercharged burner for boiling. Poured the boiling water into the room temperature glass pitcher I ALWAYS make tea in. KAPOWWWW!!!!! Boiling water running down my right leg. Ice pack!! Ice pack!!! Where's the ice pack!!!
9. Sit down on couch....no no no, too uncomfortable.....sit on the floor with ice pack...still uncomfortable...Can I get up???? Shoot.....nope......oh well, Jas will be home soon!
10. Hubby comes home, Heidi whimpering on the floor, " I burned my leg honey." Hubby says, Ohh, I'm going to go take a nap...goes into the air conditioned bed room and shuts the door.
11. Heidi rolls over on the floor (after several attempts) and cleans up the busted glass and tea all over the floor.
12. Hubby wakes up from his power nap and goes directly down to his workshop to hammer and saw away...... I am sitting in the living room in a nightgown with burn marks all down my leg and a defeated look on my face......THEN He rushes in and says, "MOM's here." WHAT????? I say!! (Mind you, my mother in law, God love her, has not been to our house since before we were married! She's never seen the place with both of us in it!!! and LET ME TELL YOU, clean is NOT how I would describe our living situation right now. More like, mine field!) Laundry, baby stuff, dirty dishes, broken glass left overs, kitty pan needs changed, etc.....All the things I woulda coulda done if I weren't preggo!

I dash off to the bed room to put on something decent! Shoot!!! Clean laundry in living room!!!! What to do? What to do??? Crap!!! Run to the bathroom!! Reach in the dirty laundry and throw on 2 random items left in there....Yikes, I'm scary....Pale, peakid and puffy.....Quick! brush the teeth and put on some mascara!!!! Pony tail, pony tail!!! Where's my scrunchy????? Shit!!! Break the land speed record to make my "perky" appearance.

Hubby says, "Mom, wanna tour of the stuff I've been working on??? Wanna see the crib (dirty bedroom), the new washer (dirty bathroom)? The new stove, (dirty, glass ridden kitchen).

Wasn't the humility of my/our destroyed livingroom enough??? Why'd she have to see ALL my shortcomings in one fail swoop?????

She, of course, was graceful and kind about it all......I wanted to crawl in a hole and die!!!

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Putting something on the blog for sake of a title change

Nothing to report. My first day off in umpteen weeks. Nothing to do and loving every minute of it! I'm so big and umcomfortable I don't know what to do with myself. I liken this stage of pregnancy to being at the mercy of a giant blood pressure cuff wrapped around my torso. At any given moment, someone just pumps it tight as it can be and then leaves it there for hours. I still haven't found the "magic spot" to release pressure, even temporarily. Ahhhh gotta love preganancy. I especially love my recent incurable appetite, yet no room to put it. Lately I've gorged myself on whatever delicious food is near by....(and that is EVERY food) and then punish myself as I sit up all night with terrible acid reflux/gall bladder pain. Now mind you, if I don't eat regularly that happens too for lack of stomache content. Should I even mention the hourly, YES hourly, trips to the bathroom every night!!! My record is 9 times. The least is 3. That was a good night.

Alas, soon it will be over and all of this craziness will be a recent memory!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

"colpocephaly" a definition

Here we go again. Here's some information on the term I've heard in the latest doctor appointment. NOT ONE PERSON will give me a definite answer. They are still saying "Let's wait and see."

There are varying degrees of this condition, so the level of her post birth challenges is all related to the level of what's in her head now. The challenge is this: They can't get an accurate picture of her head because of her position. They can see the fluid. It is definitely there. It wasn't there at my 20 week appointment, which means something happened that caused her growth in this area to stop. Since all viruses that cause this have been ruled out with a wide array of blood tests, and I've had the chromosonal tests come back negative, the only other known possibility is some sort of possible trauma that stopped the process of growth sometime after my 2oth week
.
The fluid is in her left ventricle (in the left occipital lobe), but accurate measurements are a challenge due to her head being in such a deep position in my pelvis. If the fluid is there, and no pressure is present (as in her case), then the brain is not developed enough to cause the pressure. It's that simple. When I asked the pointed question of "Will her brain grow at this stage?" the answer was directed to the discussion of not growing, but "compensating". I'll explain more of this below.

In any case, I looked up some medical definitions, and have included the one below to keep everyone up to date. By the way, her enlargement is in the LEFT occipital lobe only. Her "corpus collosum" has been identified and is in tact. (that is the connector between the two lobes.) The right occipital lobe has some fluid, but not like the left. This is good because the developmental neurologist says that allows for the possibility for "compensation" of developmental tasks because the connector may allow for the Right side to take over for the left. (Everyone who knows me, knows that I'm Right brained dominant anyways! :) )

Anyways, here's the definition:

Colpocephaly: A brain disorder in which there is an abnormal enlargement of the occipital horns of the brain --the posterior or rear portion of the lateral ventricles (cavities or chambers) of the brain. This enlargement occurs when there is an underdevelopment or lack of thickening of the white matter in the posterior cerebrum.
Colpocephaly is characterized by microcephaly (abnormally small head) and mental retardation. Other features may include motor abnormalities, muscle spasms, and seizures.
The cause of colpocephaly is unknown. A disturbance occurs between the second and sixth months of pregnancy.
Colpocephaly may be diagnosed late in pregnancy, although it is often misdiagnosed as hydrocephalus (excessive accumulation of cerebrospinal fluid in the brain). It may be more accurately diagnosed after birth when signs of mental retardation, microcephaly, and seizures are present.
There is no definitive treatment for colpocephaly. Anticonvulsant medications can be given to prevent seizures, and doctors try to prevent contractures (shrinkage or shortening of muscles). The prognosis for individuals with colpocephaly depends on the severity of the associated conditions and the degree of abnormal brain development. Some children benefit from special education.

So there you have it.

Personally, I'm not sure how I feel right now as the mommy. Jason has banned me from doing my normal "talk through the worse case scenerio to deal with it". He just says, "everything's going to be fine." I'm not that kind of person. That makes me feel like I'm walking into a haunted house blind, just waiting for the boogie man to jump out and grab me. I respect his need to deal with it his way though. Just makes these appointment days pretty tough on my psyche.

Enough doom and gloom for now. Keep the thoughts and prayers coming our way! Sophie, Jas, and I ALL need them for our own personal battles through all this. We are so hoping just to see her beautiful self and be able to live life with her to the fullest , with love, hope, knowledge and grace.

Much love to all of you who are reading this and keeping us in your thoughts.

Heidi

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Hi everyone,

Nothing much to say this week. Haven't had the most recent appt. to update you on. Just feeling really pregnant, really anxious, and of course..worrying that our little one will be ok. It has started to wake me up at nights. I hate the unknown!!! Just give me the scoop and I'm fine!!!

To those of you who attended the shower on Saturday, THANKS!! I had a lot of fun!!! She is definitely a well loved little girl!

Finally, "Baby Girl Lucas" has now been given a name. At least we can be almost certain!!! One never knows until ya lay eyes on them.

Sophie Grace Lucas

Sophie means "having wisdom"... my wish for her when she is born.
Grace is representing my grandmother. I looked up her name, "Jean" because she didn't like her own name. I thought I'd find out what it means and go with another name with the same meaning. It just so happens that "Jean" means in God's Grace.

Sophie Grace it is.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

new week, new doctor, new diagnosis

This little girl loves to reek havoc on her mommy an daddy. We had an appt. with the big wig "pediatric neurosurgeon". He said basically, "you've been mis-diagnosed". In order to have hydrocephalus, you have to have pressure in the brain caused by the fluid. She does not appear to have any pressure. So, no hydrocephalus.

What she has, according to THIS specialist, is ventricularmeglia? (spelling?), which means enlarged ventricle. The ventricles are responsible for creating the brain matter. When there is a lot of fluid and no pressure, it means she did not fully develop that ventricle's brain matter. Picture an egg....you want 80% yoke(brain matter) and about 20% white (fluid). Currently, her frontal lobes are great, but her temperal occipital lobes are about 20% yoke and 80% white. (at least according to the MRI pictures a few weeks ago) Now, the interesting thing is that the brain continues to grow over time throughout the first year of life, so she could basically be a "late brain bloomer".

He said that we are victims of advanced technology. They are more skilled than ever to look inside the mommy to see baby, but that skill hasn't been there long. Hence, very few cases like ours on the record. This specialist, Dr. Collins said he has seen this maybe once or twice a year. Each case resolving differently. The doc said that she will be born looking and acting normal and have a new very important doctor to consult with called a "developmental neurologist", who will track her progress after birth and keep a CLOSE look on her noggin and how she is growing/developing.

The part of the brain that will be affected, IF it is affected...will be the speech, memory, and some eye-sight. BUT, as you all know my husband, the brain can do amazing things with re-routing knowledge if the areas that control are damaged. So, she will most likely have some developmental work to do after birth. Which, of course, we will do happily!

In a nut shell again, NO SHUNT at this time, NORMAL delivery unless something changes, and a close watch after birth. The other very promising news is that she has scored and 8 out of 8 on her fetal monitoring for the last 2 weeks, which means cognitively she is reacting on her developmental level. This is very promising. Also very promising is that my High risk Dr./nurse practioner and high risk ultrasound tech ALL agree that the neurosurgeon's estimate of brain matter in the ventricles does not match what they have seen in the ultrasound. The neurosurgeon only looked at the MRI from a few weeks ago. He has no access to the ultrasound (weekly) information. They see more brain matter than he does. So, she may be already in the process of self-correcting, although the fluid still measures substantial at this time. Final diagnosis.....WAIT, WATCH, and SEE when she is born!!! This is the most expensive non diagnosis I've ever seen!!!!!

OK all, hope this helps keep everyone informed. Thanks for the thoughts and prayers and keep em coming!!!!

Monday, June 2, 2008

Mean children suck

So, I haven't been myself these days. Let's see....2 concerts in 2 weeks, 8 months pregnant, no sleep, Dr appts. twice a week for a month or so....It can wear and tear on your psyche, right???? But, until today I thought I was still a pretty good person. One of the "nice teachers" at school. Here's what changed my mind.

Today was field day. Teachers complained about not having planning periods today, so as a result, of course the Fine Arts team got to have no planning period so they can cover all the other teachers. (we did manage a break here or there) Now, we do have some awesome teachers at our school that REFUSED to let me be outside in the heat. So, after I attempted to cover planning periods, I was rushed back inside. I decided, since some were being so nice, that I'd make sure to help others. So, I did the "LAP duty" (detention) with my colleague. That went fine, we caught up on documentation and finally took care of end of the year stuff.

So, after doing my afternoon duty, I decided finally, to take my tired butt home. I went into my room to get my keys, bag, etc....and poof!!! my keys were missing. I thought to myself, "ok "placenta brain", Where'd ya put your keys?????" and I went on a search. I searched and searched and searched. They were no where. I finally got a weird feeling that something happened. You see, my cell was there, my bag was there, my thumb drive was there...just the keys were missing.

After 2 hours of searching, dumping trash cans, help from colleagues, etc....I was whimpering to my principal who just happened to be there late for an interview. He went up to the office to double check some places there. I had called Jennifer to come and get me, left Jason a message, etc.... All of a sudden I here my principal bellowing down the hall way.... "Heidi, I found them! I found them!!"

Apparently, some delightful child went into my room while I wasn't there today, took my keys, wrapped them in papertowels(many of them), took them to the 1st and 2nd grade bathroom and threw them away in the bottom of the trash. My principal had just happened to take the bag out because they were emptying trash down that hallway and when he lifted the bag of used papertowels, realized there was something heavy at the bottom of the bag. (I have a LOT of keys)

So my question is this: What kind of teacher am I that kids hate me so much?? I mean, come on....I"m 8 months pregnant and having complications (which the kids know because of the possibility that I may not have been there for their concert). If it was an adult in the school who pulled this prank, they were aware that my grandmother passed away this week.

I'm through! I've had it! Mean Kids Suck!!!!